Only in America

A recent story in the news is that United Airlines is going to default on its employee pension plan leaving thousands of retired employees with considerably less than was promised to them while they were on the job. What's worse is that a federal judge ordered that the pension plans be picked up by a federal program guaranteeing the plans at taxpayer expense.
Not only is this disturbing, but an outrageous concept. I have some questions for United that I think should be addressed, and because the media can only cover a major story for a day (but yet they've covered Michael Jackson's trial for weeks and no one cares) they are not being asked:
1. Will the pension plan being cut also affect any former executives or CEO's? And if not, why not?
2. What will happen to the current employees of United, will they too be forced into poverty stricken retirement?
3. Why is it that the taxpayers (i.e. ME) have to pay for a commitment paid by a publicaly traded corporation? Shouldn't the shareholders shoulder the burdon for the company's mistake? They share the bennefit when the company profits.
4. Will someone please MAKE United downsize to the point that it can afford to make good on the promises it has and continues to make to current and past employees? This will result in some people loseing their jobs, but the sacrafice of a few will save the retirement of the many who can't go back to work.

You know what really pisses me off. In the cracked out corporate world we live in this default may actually be a raise factor for the current executives at United. Follow me on this one: the CEO's job is to cut losses and make more profit, which is exactly what this pension cut is doing for the company as a whole. The CEO could then come back to the board of directors come contract time and say that he's done just that and he deserves a bonus of millions to stay on board. This kind of crap is just rediculus and needs to stop. When are these CEO's and executives going to be held accountable? Sure, 5 or 6 are being prosecuted or have been in the past year but that is nothing compared to the number that should be. I say the company should just make the current and former executives pay back all those bonuses they've gotten over the years, that should be quite enough to save these pension plans and probably a whole lot more.

That's all I have to say about that.

Physical fitness

Taking a look around recently I realized that American's are getting really fat. I mean uncontrollably fat and there's absolutely no reason for it. Just EXCERSIZE! But what I really don't understand is these people who excersize so much it's become an obsession. There is a minority who wants to be slim and muscular and appear as though they were a statue of an ancient greek god. Well for most of those people it's been a long time since high school history class so let me remind you of one tiny detail (no pun intended): the statues of ancient greeks, although very muscular, all had very small penis'. Given the recent steroids scandal I think you can see how I would be worried. For those of you who don't know, a side effect of steroid use is a shurnken version of your former manliness. Either people don't excersize at all or they excersize to the point of imasculating themselves. I just don't get it.

Quote of the day

I know I don't usually have a quote of the day, or any quotes for that matter, but this is important. This is the single best piece of advice for anyone put in this particular situation, and it happens a lot. Here is the scence from South Park, told by the people involved:
{Magician David Blaine has just told his followers (Blainetologists) to start drowning themselves in the reflecting pool of the Washington Monument when Jesus and his gang of Super Best Friends show up to foil his plan. To thwart the Super Best Friends David Blaine brings the statue of Abraham Lincoln from the Lincoln Memorial to life to terrorise the city of Washington DC. Jesus, not knowing what to do calls Moses at the Super Best Friends headquaters}:
Jesus: "Moses, how do you destroy a giant stone Abraham Lincoln?"
Moses:"Uh, ........ a giant stone John Wilks Booth?"
Jesus:"That's brilliant!!!! Thanks Moses. Let's go Super Best Friends!!"

So if you ever find yourself facing a giant statue of Abraham Lincoln, exterminate it with a giant statue of John Wilks Booth. Thank you South Park. Thank you.